Ralph Alexander James

Ralph Alexander James
August 2, 1928-June 20th, 2016

Ralph passed away peacefully on June 20th at Arbor Terrace in Decatur, GA surrounded by lots of love and the sounds of his favorite song, “Amazing Grace.” He was a kind and gentle soul who loved his family and friends. He made many people smile and his loving spirit will always live on in our hearts. Ever quick with a joke or a blessing, he never met a stranger. He was first to the table for a family meal, a lover of Carolina basketball, sweet iced tea and a good Bloody Mary.

For those who knew him well, he was respected as a luminous source of compassion, grace and kindness, a true southern gentleman. He was a shining example of a man who accepted others without judgment. This trait remained intact until he left us, and was felt especially by the acquaintances of his three daughters who together assembled a wonderfully diverse ensemble of friends—eccentric, flamboyant, and bohemian. Ralph was always there to accept them and make them feel welcome and to this day he is highly regarded by them.

Ralph James joyfully presided over a home that doubled as a gathering spot for his daughters and all of their friends, each of whom today remain touched by how welcome he made them feel. Most remember with fondness his impish sense of humor and his ease in laughing at his own jokes. In fact he inspired, recycled, and redirected laughter: Laughing at his own jokes made others laugh at him, at which point he would tell the joke again in order to relish the laughter of others one more time. He loved spending time with his four grandchildren and Maddie his great granddaughter. He would light up with a smile when they were in the room. They will especially remember him saying grace before a meal which would often bring a tear to their eyes and always a smile to their face.

As for his hospitality, “Can I get you anything?” was the question heard most often on any social occasion when Ralph was present. It was impossible to get through a party without his taking care to see that everyone had everything they needed.

Ralph was born and raised in Charlotte, NC. He graduated from Harding High School where he and his twin brother Robert excelled in sports and football in particular. Ralph and Robert were not only twins but also best friends who shared many adventures together. They both served in the U.S. Navy together from 1948 until 1952. They were the ships’ electricians and played baseball for the Navy on the traveling team. After returning home from the Navy he met his wife Dolores—a “Yankee.” The first time he saw her he told himself that she was the girl he was going to marry. Together they raised three strong and independent daughters who made him proud and who always kept him on his toes. They did not fall far from the tree.

Ralph and Robert were co-owners of Charlotte’s well-known Diamond Restaurant, established in 1945 by their parents W.A and Flonnie James. Ralph and Robert owned and operated The Diamond from 1964 to 1984 to the pleasure of generations of loyal customers. A natural in the restaurant business, Ralph knew the ins and outs of the lives of his regular customers but also about their wives, their children, and their grandchildren. For this reason, our family has countless happy memories of the Diamond and how well it fed us while we were growing up.

While living in Charlotte, NC Ralph was active in his church, Hickory Grove United Methodist. He enjoyed Wednesday night suppers and the fellowship of his friends on Chicken and Dumpling night. In his retirement he volunteered with Meals on Wheels, serving others in need.

Ralph and Dolores spent their last 10 years in the mountains of North Carolina where they called Hot Springs and Asheville, NC their home. He enjoyed many a family gathering at his daughter’s mountain house in Madison County. He loved taking care of all the plants and having a drink by the pond. Thanks to his devotion to the upkeep of the household/gardens, his daughters for 10 years had no idea where the dump was. Even on his trips to dispose of the garbage, he found the time to fit in a chat with the locals while he was there. He was also known to sneak away to the local BP station for a hot dog and a chat with his buddies.

Ralph was preceded in death by his wife Dolores, his parents W.A. and Flonnie James and his son-in law Kenny O’Mara. He is survived by his three daughters: Debora J. Wood, Asheville, NC; Janine L. James, New York, NY; Elizabeth J. O’Mara, Atlanta, GA; his four grandchildren: Lauren Wood Middour and husband J. Owen Middour, Atlanta, GA; Rachel L. Wood and husband Jonathan Dinerstein, Boston, MA, ; Alexander J. Wood, Atlanta, GA; O. Nicholson Wood, Charleston, SC; Great-granddaughter Madeline James Middour, Atlanta, GA; Twin Brother: Robert F. James and wife Mary, Charlotte, NC; Sister: Vicki Spangler and husband Eddie, Roanoke, VA; Sister-in- law: Claudeen Marik and husband Joel, Minneapolis, MN; Brother-in-law: Jim Streuber and wife Kathy, Minneapolis, MN; Soul Sister: Ann Trammell, Charlotte, NC; Soul Daughter: Kathy Dotterer, Soul Son: Dean Freeman and devoted nieces, nephews and friends.

The family will hold a private Memorial Service in the fall to celebrate the lives of both Ralph and his wife Dolores. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made in Ralph’s name to Friendship Trays. They deliver more than 700 meals each weekday to elderly, handicapped, and convalescing people who are unable or greatly restricted in their ability to prepare or secure meals. http://friendshiptrays.org/donate/